Missing Out

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I'm somewhat used to "missing out." But having the family go camping this weekend without us really hit me hard... 

Kevin and I are home alone this weekend. It's quiet and sometimes it’s nice to enjoy some "just us" time. However, I'm longing to be on the annual fall campout with most of my family, staff and students. This is not a new feeling as I found the following journal entry from last year around this time:

10/6/24 - "I'm in a bit of a funk. I've missed out on many things with having ALS such as: food, activities, outings, parties... I'm somewhat used to "missing out". But somehow having the family go camping this weekend without us really hit me hard, maybe more than anything so far. I used to love camping. It just doesn't seem fair. I'm happy they had a nice time, but I can't look at all their great pictures or hear about it on our family Whatsapp chat without crying."

Sounds pretty depressing, huh? But I have to say each year of missing out gets a little easier as I get used to the rhythm and hardness of my new and different life. 

My "world" seems to be getting smaller and smaller. I'm most comfortable in bed so most weeks are good if I just have an opportunity to sit outside in the sunshine a couple times. 

It takes a lot of effort and planning for even the simple, occasional trips to church, my daughter's house or the doctor. In a couple weeks we'll be going on a huge excursion to Texas for our son's wedding. The excitement, anxiety and logistical planning of such an expedition seems similar to getting ready for a space mission!!

However, please don't feel sorry for me.  In spite of it all I still have so much to be thankful for. We have a large screen TV on the wall across from my bed that I can explore the world through inspiring documentaries and nature programs. It's almost as good as being there! 

Last year during the camping trip I grew nostalgic watching a video of a tent site in the woods and crackling campfire. I have many great memories to remember. Each day is a blessing to be alive and this world is not my home. As I often tell people, "There's a better day coming!" 

I was recently thinking of heaven and all I have to look forward to! Walking, talking, laughing, singing, stretching, moving, swimming, running, hugging, eating..., and maybe even camping!  Just all the simple things I miss so much that are usually so natural and easy for someone to do. All will be peace, happiness and complete restoration. 

"And God will wipe every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, neither sorrow nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things are past away." Revelation 21:4

On that wonderful day, I won't be missing out anymore! If you choose God's gift of eternal life, neither will you.

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