Midnight Stops on the "Shelly Express"

When we stayed in a train car (converted into hotel room) at the Chattanooga Choo Choo for the first couple nights of our honeymoon 33 years ago, we never dreamed that one day we'd experience a very different kind of train trip. 

Last night around midnight I was staring into the darkness, praying that I could go back to sleep. Trying to make myself believe that I really WAS comfortable and hoping I didn't have to wake up my dear husband to help reposition me, yet again.  

After awhile I heard a small “growl” with each breath as I detected a bit of annoying mucus building up in my airway. I waited several minutes until the growl became more of a gurgly cough and then I reluctantly turned on the string of mini lights around our bedroom ceiling to awaken Kevin.  He yawned, rolled over, put some drops in his dry eyes and hopped up to help me. “What can I do for you, dear?” he asked pleasantly. I'm always amazed as he patiently, uncomplainingly, serves me.

I point or do sign language with my “good”, right hand to communicate my many needs. “So sorry to wake you again, dear. Can you please suction my trach?  I need to pee. Could you do a few stretches with my legs? Get me another drool cloth. Tilt my legs to the right on a pillow, up a little more, over to the left, slide my hips over a little, a little more and move the pillow up.  Move my neck pillow to the right please and stretch my left arm over my head.  Can you find the remote for the bed? Slide my feet down. The toes of my socks are tight. Please rub my left shoulder, move my head a little to the right...”  (No joke! It sounds ridiculous, but as I had my phone read the above to Kevin he started laughing, because it sounded all too familiar.)

I finally smile wanly and sign “Thank you, I'm ok. I'll try this position for awhile.” He sighs, falls back in bed, reaches to hold my hand and is almost instantly breathing heavily beside me. Asleep. (I'm so thankful he can go back to sleep easily!).

Me, however?! I can sometimes fall back asleep. Other times my legs feel numb and I lie there uncomfortable and wakeful, wishing I had the luxury of “tossing and turning” like in the good ol' days when my limbs cooperated.

Kevin calls our night-time sessions “stops” on the “Shelly Express.” On a good night we might have two stops, other nights four or five. Some stops might only be 5 minutes and other ones might be 30 minutes. Some stops everything seems hilarious and we can't stop laughing. Other stops, silent tears run down my cheeks as I try to figure out and communicate what I need.  

Yet I know I'm not alone in having times of wakefulness. There are many around this globe who also can't sleep for various reasons. I think of them and pray for them.  It may be mainly insomnia, but there are scores of others who are awake and fitful from many sad causes. They may be burdened with grief or worry, in extreme pain from cancer ravaging their body, homeless on a dirty mattress under an overpass, battered or abused, stuck in a lonely hospital room or a cold prison cell. 

And they are alone. No one is there to wipe their tears and they have no understanding of a loving Savior to lean on.

I am so blessed! I am not in pain. I am not alone. I have an incredible man by my side. I have wonderful kids and an amazing support system.  I know Jesus and am leaning hard on Him. He gives me strength to go on.  

“I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭3:5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

What can you do? 

1) Count your blessings and remind me of mine on those harder days.  

2)Reach out to those troubled, restless ones and share Jesus with them. 

3) Let Him sustain you in the unwelcome “stops” on your trip.

This train is bound for glory! Choo choo!