Letting Go
I've always been the family planner, organizer, and administrator. Ever since I became "Mrs. Kevin Powell" I've enjoyed planning special outings and things for my husband or family and helping to "make it happen."
Even in my present state of handicap, I still enjoy planning things behind the scenes, but I am helpless in the actual executing of my plans to have things happen in a timely way. This is hard on me, and I must say a very big stressor for me.
Even now if we are going on a trip or to a social function I will text details to the family ahead of time such as what the menu is, what to take, and the time we need to leave. But, that's ALL I can do. I then often have to sit helplessly and watch the minutes tick by as the ETD (estimated time of departure) passes, while I pray for patience and try not to get stressed.
Granted, care for me and unanticipated circumstances are often what slows things down. AND to be honest, even when I was the active momma in the home, we've always struggled with timeliness. But this new situation of total helplessness in contributing to the mechanics of getting out the door, is taking me on a new journey towards deeper surrender.
There's practically nothing I can physically do to help. Sometimes things might not be done how I would prefer them done or I look at something that needs to be organized and just have to let it go.
Don't get me wrong, my family does an amazing job of taking care of me and the home. It's a lot to juggle and they have many things to manage outside the home also. But the mommy-in-me screams out for normalcy, when I used to be the queen in my home always taking care of things.
The Bible repeats again and again in different ways to trust God. Trust Him to work. Be anxious for nothing. Don't get uptight, because God is working in your behalf in all things. He is your God. You don't have to figure things out by yourself. Your Father in heaven is in charge and is working together for your good. Trust Him. Trust Him. Take a breath. Let go, it's going to alright.
I need more patience and acceptance of my inabilities, and be surrendered and peaceful to give others freedom, and let things happen as they will.
In so many situations, I must take a deep breath and "let go and let God."
It is always a blessing to see your family working together.
ReplyDeleteAmen, sister! Thank you for sharing your struggles and your victory in Christ. The grace flowing from the struggle to your family and beyond gives Him glory. Thanks for your witness!
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