I Shall Not Want

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I feel so alone. The tears seem to come far too easily this afternoon. 

I just want to eat lunch with my family. I just want to chew and swallow and enjoy the fresh tamales. I just want to talk with everyone and enter in to conversations easily. I just want to take care of my house. I just want to do the dishes. I just want to walk the dog. I just want to type with both hands. I just want to take a shower and wash myself. I just want to smell things cooking. I just want to travel to places easily. I just want to be a hostess and have people over. I just want to be a mom.. a real mom. I just want to be a helpmate to my man. I just want to feel understood.  I just want things to be how they used to be. 

Just now as I was cutting and pasting the above quote from my journal, Psalm 23 came to mind. "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.." I shall not want, what does that mean?  I think it means He will supply my needs and not leave me "in want."

Don't get me wrong, I think it is normal to have some natural grieving and missing of the things I used to be able to do and wanting things to be different.  Grief is a natural emotion and God created tear ducts! But I have to look beyond what is presently happening to my body. I need not "grieve as those who have no hope.."  I am in His hands and He will supply my needs. 


And on those days when the tears come more easily I can eventually dry them, and once again call on my Shepherd. I have the hope that He will one day make all things new, even giving me a new body that can do everything I WANT it to. Praise Him!  I shall not want or lack any good thing. 


I just want.. to better understand and accept Your ways, Lord.

Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 7, 2022 at 2:38 PM

    Hi Shelly!! My heart goes out to you, and cry with you!! You have been such an inspiration to me!! I know that soon God will wipe away your tears and make you whole!! Please know that I think of you often and lift you up in my prayers! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 7, 2022 at 9:39 PM

    Hello Mrs. Powell:
    This is Sarah Swihart's daughter Susan.

    I understand what you are going through. As you know, I too would like to be normal for just one day.
    But I'd Iike to know, what God has plans for me. For I have recently been diagnosed with having RA.- Rheumatoid Arthritis, Brittle Bone & Osteoporosis.

    11years ago, I had to have 3/4 of my stomach removed, due to built up of scar tissue. I don't remember any of it...
    You will be in my prayers, & I hope God Blesses you. & Pastor Powell.

    With much love
    Susan Keltto
    PS: Jeff & I got married 11 years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousAugust 8, 2022 at 2:09 PM

    Dearest Shelly. Your courage, faithfulness and ability to keep up the positivity is incredible! Of course I know you wish or fear but I am in awe of how wonderful you still are a wonderful wife, mother and person of inspiration. Always praying for each of you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousAugust 8, 2022 at 5:59 PM

    One day, we will see all our love ones again. When the Lord cometh in cloud to take us home. Nomore death, pain, crying and the old earth will pass away and all things will be new. We know our love ones are sleeping and we are watching and waiting for that wonderful day . My sister be of good courage because the Lord is near.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Richard NatzkeAugust 28, 2022 at 4:35 AM

    Shelly, I pray for you and your husband every day. You are an encouragement and inspiration to me. Your faithfulness to God and your testimony of His enduring care for you in the midst of this trial is amazing. You may see yourself as weak but I see that you are being strengthened after the inner man. In the ways that matter for eternity you are strong. I pray for healing and for the filling of the Holy Spirit. Keep your eyes on Jesus my sister in Christ.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousAugust 28, 2022 at 10:25 PM

    Shelly you are strong godly lady. You are encouragement to me . I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. God is coming soon and pain and suffering will be no more. Blessing . Lillian Chacon

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cathy BennetyOctober 10, 2022 at 12:19 PM

    My husband was diagnosed with ALS 8 years ago, so we have been on this road together for a while. My heart goes out to you, but I am thanking God for your faith and praying His presence will continue to calm you and make you feel loved. I am clinging to my faith as a caregiver and supporting others through my Faith4Caregiver Facebook group and Tidbit of Faith messages. May you blog also be a source of strength for others. ❣️

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nicola BromfieldNovember 11, 2022 at 6:41 PM

    My dearest of all dears! Would you believe that the song I was listening to as I read this blog was Psalm 23?!!! What a serendipitous moment! As I read your blog, my heart ached due to your challenges….😞. But, I am hopeful for the future because of your hope in sweet Jesus. Our Lord will make all things new for you. And thou will never want.
    I love 💕 you

    ReplyDelete

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