Night Seasons
Sometimes I struggle with what to write about in my blog. In this one I thought to vulnerably share from my journal some of the struggles and things the Lord has been teaching me in the “night seasons” this week. Thankfully insomnia isn't a usual, long term problem, but sleep certainly has alluded me some recently.
Have you heard the song "God Leads His Dear Children Along"? The chorus goes:
"Some through the waters, Some through the flood.
Some through the fire, but all through the blood.
Some through great sorrow, But God gives the song.
In the night season and all the day long"
12/8/21-1 am. Been up for an hour with some difficulty sleeping, anxiety… finally decided to sit up in to the chair for awhile.
12/10/21 I praise the Lord that I slept well last night. But tonight I am again wakeful.
12/12/21-1:48 am. It seems like I’m on an “every other night” sleep cycle. Tonight I feel OK, but I just can’t seem to sleep. I somehow need to not fight it so much, and “roll with it”. The stress of worrying about it isn’t good. Maybe I need to spend more time with the Lord in these night seasons.
I just watched a testimony by Rebekah Hill (link below). It was a powerful testimony on God and His faithfulness in her trial with breast cancer. I needed to hear it…All I have is today and Rebekah’s testimony reminded me that He is faithful no matter what!! I need to be willing to pray to Him and praise Him more. He inhabits the prayers of his people and I need much more of His presence in my day to day life to keep me focused.
2 Corinthians 4:16 (KJV) came to mind. "For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day." (Maybe night by night too..lol)
12/13/21 3:22 am. Well here I am again, wide awake. I praise the Lord that despite the fact I don’t think I’ve slept at all tonight I feel more peaceful, trusting that the Lord has a plan.
I had the thought an hour ago to get up and maybe read, but when I went to the bathroom I had the distinct thought, “go back to bed”, so I did. I thought that God was telling me to go back to bed because He was going to help me sleep, but no sleep came.
However, my dearest hubby woke up and was so kind and tender with me. He helped to take my socks off, stroked my back, hair and hand and offered to get whatever I might need. He’s such a dear. In the day-to- day he does so well to care of my needs, but I don’t ALWAYS sense the tenderness associated with it (very often, but not always). Sometimes it’s more of a manly role of conquering the problem, a “ take charge” type of help. There is a place for that type, but I think I needed an extra dose of tender care tonight. God knew that.
Kevin also helped demonstrate my Loving Savior’s compassionate, tender love to me. I needed those pictures, both of my dear husband (not to be annoyed with me for keeping him awake and sacrificially trying to help me) and the parallel picture of Jesus and His tender compassion for me.
Even though I still haven’t slept I would have missed those pictures if I had gotten up earlier. Some lessons are worth loosing sleep to learn. I have much opportunity to be still and know that He is God in these night seasons. I will get through; God will show the answers. I’ll eventually get caught up on my sleep and the sun will come up tomorrow. But in the meantime I can rest assured that God has things to teach me in the night seasons.
BLT: Rebekah Hill- Aggressive Cancer Was My Diagnosis
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