Masks!

Masks!  They are everywhere! We don’t LIKE them, but we tolerate them and have learned to live with them.  It seems ALMOST normal now to see nearly everyone in Walmart walking around with one on! Masks supposedly protect us from dreaded diseases, or at least protect others from “our mess.” What about the emotional masks we all wear? The times when we paste on a smile when we are deeply hurting inside, trying to protect others from knowing the real us.  Maybe they wouldn’t really like us if they knew the real “mess” behind the mask. Or maybe we’re protecting ourselves from more hurt in life, and there is plenty of that to go around!

Another excerpt from my journal: “Lord there is so much heartache and misery in this old world! Within the past few weeks my friend Jeana’s 16 year old nephew committed suicide, Mr. Dragomir died from COVID, Marla had a car accident breaking both ankles and totaling her vehicle, hurricane Laura hit Louisiana, we saw a single mom with her small children by the road asking for help, Renee’s twin nieces’ dad was stabbed to death ... this old world’s in trouble!  So sad... yet it brings us a momentary “Oh no, that’s terrible!” and we may say a prayer for the unfortunate individuals and go on with life. I find myself somewhat calloused to to suffering unfortunates around me. But, I guess technically I can be seen as one of the “unfortunate ones” or I’m at least in need of a lot of prayer. 

But I don’t FEEL unfortunate. I actually feel super blessed. I’m not in any pain. I can move and exercise freely. Actually I have had ALS symptoms with my speech for over a year now. It’s more slurred than a year ago, but still understandable.  A neurologist rated me at 43 out of 48 on the “ALS Functional Rating Scale” almost a year ago and I believe I’m still a 43! This rates one’s abilities to move, swallow, speak, breathe, ambulate and do activities of daily living.  I’ve read that it’s common for someone with ALS to go down up to one point a month so God is blessing and answering prayers on my behalf!  I have good energy. I have a family that loves me. We have enough food and a garden growing. Hannah (my oldest daughter) is engaged to an amazing young man and we’re having fun planning her wedding coming up in November! People probably think I’m hiding behind a mask! But actually—most days my smile is real.

Another praise... I don’t know what the future holds! That’s a praise in itself. All I need to do is live life joyfully and connected to my loving Savior today! He allowed ALS, but He can easily heal me as well. I’m in His loving hands. If I REALLY trust Him I need not worry about whether or not I will be around for my grandchildren! He’s got me and my family covered.” End journal excerpt.

I’m sure after my last blog post about “eating worms” some of you have been worried about me and my diet!  Thankfully, I can say that, I believe, that was the last meal of worms I’ve had for awhile!  I’ve been eating a more balanced diet!  I feel that God has been helping my emotions to “even out” and overall, by His Grace, I have good days and am able to count my blessings amid the trials.  I know there are many out there who are having very real battles with discouragement and depression and may not understand how I can put a “premium on praise” (as one friend put it) while dealing with a potentially life-threatening disease.  Some of my ancestors tended to worry a lot about things, but thankfully I didn’t seem to inherit those genes. Although I’m definitely not immune, I usually don’t “stay down” long. My “praise plan” is becoming more habitual and I am so thankful. 

A good friend recently sent me a book “Cancer Cured Me”.  In this insightful book, Mark Heisey shares the following deep thoughts: “Without cancer (or other major sting, challenge, trouble, crisis, etc.), life can seem like a game.  We go round and round the board, passing ”Go” while trying to collect all the money and gain all the property we can.  But there comes a day when it’s all over—when Father Time has nibbled away all of what Mother Nature gave you.  Like the game, someone will place you neatly in a box, close the lid and put you away.”

 

“Suffering interrupts the daily flow and makes more distinct the voice of God…And since what you think about God determines what you think of God, which determines what you do with God, having a good understanding of—and response to—what messes up your plans could have eternal significance.”

“If you catch anything…, may it be hope and desire to love God supremely and take your faith (not your religion) seriously.  May you also live out your faith so you don’t outlive your faith.” 

I really appreciated that!  Hope you did too! Sometimes life’s detours seem to bring a flood of emotions and a feeling of vulnerability that makes us want to at least hide behind a mask. Then we can remember it’s OK  to cry. It’s even OK to question God. (As long as we keep coming to Him!) We’re in good company!  Numerous times in the Psalms David cried out to God in his despair.  May we like him find our hope in God. Notice Psalms 42:9-11:

“I will say unto God my Rock, why hast thou forgotten me? Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? 

As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God? 

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? 

Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.” 

If we let HIM bring health to our countenance, we can live mask-free!