WHY ME?

Why me?  Why did the Lord allow this terrible thing to come to me? Why does a God of love allow things that cause pain to His children when He has the power to “make it all better” and remove the trial? So often these questions, and many others enter the mind of Christians when they face a crisis in their lives.

I had to grapple with these questions more deeply when I was recently texting a new friend that I met at the “Healing ALS" conference in Salt Lake City, Utah last October.  Kevin and I met him in the hallway at the conference center and we exchanged contact information.  The ravages of ALS were evident in his body. We’ve texted him some encouragement over the last several months and a couple weeks ago I sent him an inspiring quote about God being close to the "tempted, weak, helpless". His text in response was a heart cry that made my “Why me?" questions seem small in comparison.

Here is his text (with his permission): “This is an amazing quote and speaks to all that I am feeling right now. Helpless, broken, wounded and weak.  I’m even embarrassed for the difficulties I am having and don’t like people viewing me with pity. It is not fair as I did nothing wrong to get this (blank) illness! Yet my own family does not seem to care or appreciate the struggles that I go through every day! I feel so alone and isolated in my thoughts, beliefs and I have no joy, love or support each day around me. I don’t know where to turn to as no one truly understands what I am going through.”

Our hearts go out to our new friend who is suffering and we’re prayerfully seeking to help more tangibly from a distance. We had a zoom Bible study with him last week. There seems to always be someone “worse off” or in a more difficult situation than ours. Reaching out in spite of our own pain to help someone else encourages our own hearts as we get to also let God's loving character shine out through our lives.

The “why me?” questions can be countered with “why not me?” Whatever made me think that I have the right to expect a trouble-free life? Since when do I think that I can be exempt from hardship and tragedy when everyone else in this world suffers? I am no “better’ or less “deserving” than anyone else, I am part of the human race on a planet where our enemy, Satan, is intent on destroying us. With the great controversy between God and Satan raging, one can expect to face suffering and unanswered questions.

I was also encouraged recently when I came across “Why me?” from another angle.  For example as I think about my ALS diagnosis I am reminded of all the times in my life when I didn’t bother to ask “Why me?”

I didn’t ask “Why me?” when I grew up in a loving Christian family and was never harmed or abused.

I didn’t ask “Why me?” when the Lord miraculously saved us on a trip during our engagement from a tragic car accident and I lived to marry the man of my dreams.

I didn’t ask “Why me?” when I had four great pregnancies and gave birth to four beautiful, healthy babies who are now a continual blessing and support in my life.

I didn’t ask “Why me?” when we had twenty years of God's blessings in satisfying ministry and fellowship in our churches in Florida and Virginia and now have a rich and full life here at Ouachita Hills Academy and College in Arkansas.

Job asked, “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” Job 2:10 He is certainly bigger than our troubles.  He is also big enough to take our tough questions, even in storms of adversity and whisper words of assurance.

In this world sometimes we are “forced” to accept things we may not choose for ourselves—like an ALS diagnosis. But, remember we also uncomplainingly accept all the blessings He daily showers on us.  Psalm 103:2 says it well, "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits" I’m learning to focus on the blessings and I can't help but ask: “Why me, Lord?”